simple truth

i've been wrestling with so many questions in my spiritual life - which isn't all bad because it means my spiritual journey is on my mind, but i think i've ended up confusing myself more than anything. i was talking to an older sister the other day about some of these things and she said something that made me stop short: God is simple. we try to make things complex and ask Him if there's more. today while i was doing my QT i realized that's completely true.

in Experiencing God, the unit i'm currently going through is all about our relationship with God, the nature of God, His love, etc. and although i've thought about this topic so many times, going through it again brought up all these questions doubting my own motives and true spiritual state - am i truly serving because of my love for God or are there selfish motives? am i substituting these works for more depth in my relationship with God? do i really love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength - and what implications does that have for how i live every day? what does it even really mean to love God? does it mean that i have to have these warm fuzzy feelings every time i think about Him, or does it mean loving His people?

but one verse from today's devotion made everything fall into place.

"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." - John 14:21

it's that simple. loving God is obeying Him - obeying Him when He tells me to take up my cross and follow Him daily, obeying Him when He tells me to lay down my pride and consider others better than myself, obeying Him when He tells me to trust in Him only, obeying Him when He tells me to have no other idols before Him. and when i do that i realize that i've just been complicating everything unnecessarily - all i need to do is follow Him and allow Him to direct my feet.

today in particular i feel like my blog is so aptly named; i'm constantly finding myself flat on my face, tripping over these simple truths that i still can't get over. luckily for me, i have a God who is always there to pick me up when i fall :)

when everything falls apart

You said
You'd never leave or forsake me
When you said
This life is gonna shake me
And you said
This world is gonna bring trouble on my soul
This I know

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on

When I see
Darkness all around me
When I see
That tragedy has found me
I still believe
Your faithful arms will never let me go
And still I know

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on

Sorrow will last for the night
But hope is rising with the sun
(It’s rising with the sun)
And there will be storms in this life
But I know you have overcome
You have overcome

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on

When everything falls apart
Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart
You're the only hope for this heart
When everything falls apart
And my strength is gone
I find you mighty and strong
You keep holding on
You keep holding on

- Everything Falls, by Fee

until then

i look inside me and all i can see is selfishness.brokenness.ugliness.pride.insecurity.fear.discouragement.darkness.anger.hurt.jealousy.anxiety.shame.unworthiness.
the sin in my heart passes in front of my eyes and fills up my vision until it's all i see
i can't run to you because i'm shackled by these chains, i'm tripping over myself until i'm flat on my face
all the things i've been trying so hard to do start to unravel and become transparent, useless

but somehow

You look at me and see Your child covered in a robe of righteousness
You make me whole, You make me new, putting together the broken fragments to make something beautiful
You pick me up where i fell and free me from the heavy burdens weighing me down, You meet me in my brokenness
You have already said that it is finished, but the good work You began in me will be carried on to completion

until i am made like You,
until i see You,
until i am with You,

mold me. break me. refine me.

A-Z randoms about me

i promised that my blog would tell you more about me so here goes :)


Aloe: asian drink i've been addicted to lately

Blankets: i love blankets - they make you feel warm and loved

Continents: i want to travel to all 7 (even antarctica!) by the time i die

Dance: one thing i can't do but seriously wish i could..

Elephant Love Medley, Moulin Rouge: probably most listened-to song since the summer <3

Facial hair: one of my biggest pet peeves on asian guys >.<

GCC: I LOVE GRACE COVENANT CHURCH. my home away from home, my family :)

Harry Potter: best books ever written, worst movies ever made

Ice cream: is not as good as froyo

Jessica: my full name that no one uses except for strangers or profs

Kenya/K'NEX: the country where my adorable World Vision Hope Child lives + the BEST summer family group :D :D

Laughing: so hard i fall off my chair is the best kind

May: my birthday month, most beautiful month of the year

Naps: i could nap my whole life away. enough said.

Orgo: currently the bane of my existence T.T

Philippians: my favorite book of the bible

Quirkiness: unfortunately a characteristic my mom encouraged in me when i was little.. no wonder i am the way i am >.>

R&B: music FTWWW

Siblings: older sister (24) and younger sister (11), i love them but they make me wonder sometimes if i was adopted haha

TWITTER: my completely awesome family group! :D

UP: my freshman year family group, will always have a special place in my heart =]

Vests: i have a total thing for vests - men, women, kids, everyone ;)

Wisconsin: born in Madison, grew up in Milwaukee in the same house since i was 3

X-files: include all my baby pictures of when i was digustingly fat

Yi family Monopoly Deal reigning champ: me ^^ (it was such an intense tournament, i'm proud to have this title!)

Zero: number of all-nighters i've pulled

my happy place :)

TWITTER <3